Pain Will Set Me Free

11-17-13

Pain will set me free

What makes a person deserve to be lied on and to be treated like shit, what makes it ok for harsh words to be spit, used as slaps in the face, daggers in the heart, using words to tear them apart, tell my secrets, to be used against me, tell my shame, to be thrown in my face, humorous? Not really, it's not their pain you're feeling, laugh away, ridicule because I stayed, call me the dumb one, the one who can't see, close your eyes, stop seeing me, as a human, a heart and soul, something precious, push me to let go.

The pain has set me free

UGH

UGH
The saying goes “It’s better to give than receive”
All my life I’ve given
And look where it’s gotten me
No job, but full of degrees
Student Loans
With no home
Taking care of everyone else and their family
I forgot to care enough to take care of me
It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just me
But I have more responsibility
Everyone telling me how I should feel
Thinking they know everything
My shoes they can never fill
Just like I can’t fill theirs
Yet and still
I refuse to lie to myself
I got to this place by myself
Always tried to do what was right
Taught my son to say his prayers at night
I guess my mistakes were worse than the next
Cause my seed is paying for each one on the list
Only 9 and he deals with more than most men
He’s stronger for it in the end
Doesn’t make it ok
For him to suffer because of me
Solution so simple
Yet not so easy
Rewrite the equation
To balance equally
Just remove the problem
Then things should run smoothly
Can’t accomplish that
And end up where I want to be for eternity
In hell now
With no way out
Figuring out a plan
For this storyline to end

A beautiful peice written by a friend

For a Special Woman
My evidence makes it evident, that in your heart, Ill soon be a permanent resident.
You are;
pure and celibate,
Tough but yet delicate,
Intelligent,
Beyond excellent, style and elegance with etiquette
-I embrace the thought of one night hugging you,
-I caress the idea of one day loving you,
Excluding the fact that we have not kissed.
I reminisce, often recalling memories of you and I that dont exist!
-I'm having precognitions of future visions, retro cognitions of past visions,
Intuition leading me to your existence. Obtaining your love is a mission I made my decision, listen! I want unity not division.
-A Benediction for a lover's ambition, perhaps infatuation or addiction in the purest condition!! You are my religion.
Its you I'm hearing,
Its you I'm seeing,
Its you I'm feeling,
Enamored with your character, being, and essence.
In my world nothing may subsist but your presence.
Complications arise when my temptations catch me by surprise, I fantasize only to realize that you are not present when I open my eyes.
Contemplation relevant to your creation. No negative statements, strictly affirmations, take in consideration that to love you Ill put in a life time of dedication and determination. Your are the truth, no duplications or falsifications.
-Fantasies and dreams with your image only make the scenario humid, making me wet! -Sexual sensations make me touch my self and Im only human. You bet!
Remember the times we made love to poetry, without protection!.
The pencil got an erection,
Giving birth to beautiful pieces, excellent but shy from perfection.
-Once again I reminisce and recall memories of you and I that dont exist!
Once you fantasize there is the potential to externalize!
Our eyes bring fourth no lies, they are the mirror to our minds vehemently stating that we want each other in our lives.
I want matrimony.
Churches are overrated in fact skip the ceremony.
This is a written testimony, non phony.
Death will not do us part. It can take our lives but I got your mind, spirit, and heart.
Let our bodies be buried.
Acknowledge the fact that our mind and soul are everlastingly married.
Our love will live eternally.
Sincerely;
Guvamint

All About Me

All About Me
Even when I’m off the scene
My name stays in full swing
I hear sooo many things
And people will believe what they choose to believe
Don’t want you to judge them on what you hear
But they are quick to listen to the birds in their ear
Acting like they don’t know misery loves company
One reason I don’t bring to you everything told to me
People can think what they want is petty
Petty would be me doing to you what you do to me
But why do that
When it comes back naturally
See Karma is a bigger B
Than I ever can be
So I’ll sit back and do my thing
Watch what time will bring
People just can’t see
True generosity
For what it is
Or for what it can be
I understand completely
So used to people who are shady
That they are not ready
For anything more
Anything better
My fault too
Cause I expect better
Expect people to really see
Instead of me being more careful
I look at potential
And intentions behind the acts
Perspective so different from the norm
So it must be wrong
Brainwashed indeed
Fitting in is not me
Get over it
And get gone
Cause you my dear
Have been erased from my mind
Hidden in my heart
And will be given no more time
We’ll see
If you’ll be one
To realize at one point
And let your pride not win one
Or if you’ll take it to the grave
And just pretend to be dumb
Won’t make me
Or break me
Hope I have an impression on at least one
Open an eye
To reality
Then I can say job well done
It’s an accomplishment to reach one

Hypocrites

Hypocrites
A friend of mine once said to me
We should all hang mirrors on our GLASS walls
Then maybe we can see
We are just as flawed
Sounded like a good idea to me
Then the problem hit me
People will only see
What they choose to see
They can look in the mirror
And see perfection
Not the insecurities
So adding more mirrors
Won’t force them to see
And they do just that
By adding people to reflect their inner being
They see the faults
Just not their own
So they sit there
And throw stones
What will they do
When their walls get hit
And their houses come shattering down
Does it take hitting bottom
To see imperfections
Or will they continue to blame
The world around them
Wouldn’t it be great
If the world could grow together
Oh how I wish
We could all get better
And fix everything that needs fixing
Help each other
Instead of pushing the next man down
And not taking in our own criticisms
Too busy being on the defensive
I’m beginning with my mirror
Listening more
But still being selective in what I take in
This is one thing
I hope becomes a trend

Why????

WHY?????
He says my eyes are like a safe with no lock
If it’s soooo easy for him to see right into my heart
Then why use up my love and kindness
Does he want me to push him away like the rest
I know he has it in him to treat me like that queen
Yet he’s intentionally showing me another thing
Treating the wrong people right
And the right people wrong
Frankie could have made that into a song
Now he treated her right as can be
Such a difference when it comes to me
Which makes him wrong
Being treated right by me
This thing keeps going faithfully
I can see where it’s heading
And I need to get out now
And by the time he figures it out
It’ll be way too late
I would have thought about all the wrong
The hurt
The pain
With no gain
And asked myself
Why I stayed so long
In the first place
I should have left after the first day
But I had to “give it a chance”
I’m going to learn one day
To stop giving my heart away
To people who are broken
I can’t fix everything
So I’ll leave it up to God
And continue to work on myself alone
All about Krys2
That’s the only way for me to do!

K.O.

KO
So you think you want to know about Double P
Please you can’t handle the complexities of me
You can’t even see what is in your face
The genuine signs I show everyday
Such a rare find
Value often overlooked
Until the date is too late
And Miss T comes into play
So many people think they know
And they come up with the dumbest things to show
Run and tell
I wonder if they feel dumb when they are wrong as hell
Steady thinking the pressure will break me
When in reality
The pressure is forming this diamond more and more beautifully
Shine becoming brighter and brighter by the second
Hope you at least have on shades
I really don’t want you to disintegrate
Cause it’s like looking at a Roman God in its true form
Or a solar eclipse
Not to be looked at directly
Maybe you should turn your head
I see you squinting when you try looking me in the eye
I know the shine is just too bright
Maybe one day you’ll grow enough to see
To realize we are all here for the same thing
To learn what we need to in the time we have
That really no one is better that the next
It’s our perceptions that needs to be fixed
Once you find the balance between being humble and proud
The judgment you have will reduce for the crowd
That you see around
I know this is supposed to be about me
But without people and the bonds I have
Where would I be
I’ve learned from the good, the bad, and the ugly
I would do it all again
Especially the painful moments
To learn and grow
Become the butterfly
From the caterpillar
I grew in my for years in my cocoon
Now I’m spreading my wings
And learning as the flight goes on
I’ll keep pushing til the end
Of my time in this realm
Making sure my business is taken care of
On the way I’ll continue to give all the love
And help that I can
Trying my best to leave a great impression on this land
A legacy that never ends
I’m smart enough to know
That I’m not where it began
And strong enough not to allow it to end
With me
But to pass it on
Mentor while I learn
It’s the only way to truly be
What point is there to know
And not to share
Knowledge/power
With who you can
I know that’s not most people’s plan
The greed causes them to think again
But I’ve never been one to follow the next man
Standing out has always been my plan
And I do it so well
Because I only know how to be myself
So if it’s not what you expected
Oh well
UnXpect’D is what I’ll always be
That K.O. will keep coming
Trust
Not only in poetry
Give it enough time
And you just might see